What Happened to Big Families?

How supporting a family on a normal dad’s income became more difficult

You have to wonder whatever happened to the West (and East) in the last generation such that supporting a family of five or seven on a normal dad’s income became so much more difficult? Obviously it wasn’t one single thing, but an accumulation of many little things. Hidden inflation and increasing taxes on hundreds of standard-usage items that families need to function in daily life. Real estate speculation in cities, and rising administrative costs in schools. Insurance price gouging of many kinds.

Perhaps more influential in the deterioration of the family than all these other factors, however, have been a few ideologies that came into vogue since the 1970s. These ideologies have, on the one hand, equated freedom and happiness to a lack of commitment to anything meaningful, and on the other convinced millions of young people that overpopulation and anthropogenic climate change are two of the planet’s biggest problems. Thus, millions have felt morally justified in avoiding family commitments, or having a child then quickly finding reasons to dissolve their marriage, to return to the single, non-committal life that they are familiar and comfortable with.  

To play devil’s advocate for a moment, it does make sense to trust and invest in yourself first and foremost, to diversify your contributions to this world. Marriage is great, but as we’ve all seen it can also go to hell in a handbasket in a matter of minutes. People can change over the years as well. And then how much are all the heated struggles and lovely sentimental moments worth? Thinking beyond, to your ultimate contributions on earth, is common sense and wisdom. Still, anything worthwhile involves a minimum amount of trust, risk, love, and commitment.

There is also a group that actually believes half of the population is gay. I’ve heard various people, including some friends and acquaintances, suggest this for decades. They imagine half of the world is still in the closet, and this 50% becomes a kind of default goal for social activism and crusades, a weird goal of “equality” of numbers, seeking converts to a lifestyle and proselytizing like a religion. This has impacted the perception of what is normal and healthy family life on multiple levels.